Quality over Quantity: Advice for Working Parents
Author: Heather Slee
Whether you work out of the home because you need income or you work to feed your mind, chances are if you're a work-out-of-the-home parent (WOH), you often question whether or not you're spending enough time with your children. And, of course, everyone's situation is unique and has its own challenges, but here are some tips that will help you make your time with your children quality when it can't always be about quantity.
Turn off the noise. When you get home from work, turn off the TV and the computer and start spending time together. If you are getting dinner ready, involve the children. Newborns can be in their bouncers on the kitchen table (strapped in safely, of course). Older babies can play with plastic storage container drums on the floor. Toddlers can pretend to cook along side of you or you can sing songs together while dinner is cooking. Older kids can have duties, such as tossing the salad, setting the table, making a fun centerpiece, or other jobs.
If it's not dinnertime when you get home, turn off the noise anyway and spend an hour or so just being with the children. Read a book out loud, play with toys on the floor, help with homework, have everyone share about their day (of course activities will vary depending on the age of your children). A big part of quality time is communication; kids thrive when they know their parents listen to them and they feel comfortable with communication. So while you're playing with the Transformers, throw in a little conversation as well.
Along with work and spending time with the kids, you also have a million other duties, such as laundry, dishes, lawn work, and the like. Two pieces of advice: One, don't obsess over having a perfect house. When you're 90 years old, will you be glad your sink was always clean, or will you be glad you had time with your children? Two, involve the whole family (again, depends on ages) when there's housework to be done. Older kids can have chores to do, younger kids can be given small jobs (matching socks, picking up toys, etc.) and babies and toddlers can at least be near you playing while you explain what you're doing (this actually helps them learn and develop senses!). When the whole family is working on something unpleasant like cleaning (yes, some people love it…), there is a good feeling of team effort and togetherness.
Of course you need time to yourself too, and sometimes you just need to veg out in front of the TV or computer. If you can, try to schedule that time for after the kids go to bed. If that's not possible in your crazy schedule, don't beat yourself up if you need to just relax and watch a sitcom on TV for 30 minutes. Kids need to learn how to entertain themselves, too.
All in all, you are doing what you need to do, whether that's staying at home, working part-time, or working full-time. As long as you love your kids, provide them with stability and comfort, and make your time together count, they will respect and appreciate you. Not when they're teenagers, of course, but that's another story.
