It’s Okay to Say No…Really
Author: Jeannie Fleming-Gifford
If you love having your family and friends around 24/7, this article is probably not for you. For those of you who enjoy an occasional visit, but also need a respite now and then, read on.
Everyone loves a newborn. There's something magical and miraculous about a new addition. Perhaps it is their little coos and cries or their soft, wrinkly skin, or the fact that they are so tiny. And, because of this, you may find that everyone wants to spend time with your baby.
How do you feel about that? How does your partner feel? There is a difference between doing what you "think you should" and doing "what you want."
For some of us, we want the extra hands. We want the company.
For others, we want the time alone, or with our partner, to work through this change, to work through our new roles in our relationships.
From the hospital stay to the first days and weeks at home, you may be wondering how and when to respond to these requests for visits. From the grandmas to the great aunt, to the long lost friends, keep in mind one thing: it is okay to say no.
This time is your time. This time is your partner's time. This time is precious. No matter if the days feel long now, soon, you will look back and they will have passed in what seems like the blink of an eye. This is not a time to stress over "Aunt Susie's" visit, especially if you never really enjoyed her visits to begin with!
If you do not want company 24/7, realize that is okay and do not let anyone try to convince you otherwise. After you and your partner have talked and set parameters of who and when and how much and how long, feel free to communicate them to those who are calling, texting, and emailing.
How do you say "thanks, but no thanks?"
Simply say:
"Thanks for checking in. We're just getting settled. We'll look forward to your visit once we get through these first few weeks."
And, that's okay. As a mama, you'll find plenty of things to worry and feel guilty about. Asking for time and patience from visitors should not be one of them.
