Saturday, September 25, 2010 - Nikki

I was essentially a single mom as my husband was "stationed" half way across the country for work when my dd was born. As I am a teacher, I finished out that year then we re-evaluated our priorities. We moved to be a family together. In the summer I was a SAHM. My dd was not happy when it was just us during the day. She missed the interaction with other kids her age. I am now back at work and she is back in daycare. Every day she is excited to go to the workers and is crawling or cruising to me at the end of the day. I do miss some fun things (like her using foam blocks to climb into the rocking chairs), but I am still there for her every evening and have seen her milestones one by one. Although I could have been a SAHM this year, it was really best for her personality to socialize her with other children. She is learning to share and is a big "people watcher".

Friday, September 24, 2010 - Anna V

I believe you are looking for the phrases "paid work" v. "unpaid work." I am an unpaid worker as the Stay At Home Parent. This is heavy duty manual labor equivalent to a 45 hour garbage route I ran when I was 30 before the automated lift trucks. In my case, my salary (which equaled my husband's) would have covered childcare, period. Why bother with paid work? I am very glad to be at home and seeing the day to day complete development of my child. Five years is a very short time in the lifespan of a human, I thank my god I am in a position to realize a small sacrifice on my part means a great deal to my child. But, I'm an old lady according to our society, so see things differently now than when I was in my 20's and 30's and paid work WAS the most important thing. We all make sacrifices. This society has made it incredibly easy to sacrifice one's children for paid work. That said, some moms actually need to work (not in a monetary sense) and that makes it better for all in their families. I say as long as your child is planned and wanted, you will do your best for them paid work or no paid work.

Thursday, September 23, 2010 - workin mom2

I am very lucky to have a work-from-home job with strong extended family support. That said, my parents both worked when my brother and I were little and he is VP of Engineering at a stable mid-size company and I have a PhD with a lucrative work-from-home job where I only work 2 weeks a month. When growing up, I never felt "abandoned" or that my parents missed out on any milestones or important life decisions. They were there for me when I needed them and that's how I feel about them now. So, don't feel guilty or "less of a mom" if you have no choice but to work or if you work because you need "adult time" (like me). What matters is the time and love you share with your kids when you are home.

Thursday, September 23, 2010 - CmomE

I wish so much that I could stay home with our baby. My mom stayed home with us, and it was wonderful. However, I also really enjoy my job as an art teacher and know that right now we can't afford for me to quit to stay home. My husband and I are really lucky though! He will be working 2nd shift starting soon, and will be working from home when he does! So while I am at work, he will be Mr. Mom! Then when I get home, I'll take over so he can work in his home office. I love that one of us will be home with our baby all the time even though we both have full time jobs! I also am thankful that hubby will be at home while working so we can still have dinner together as a family. Since I can't stay home full time, this is certainly the next best thing! I wish everyone were so lucky!

Thursday, September 23, 2010 - Tay

I stay at home,and have since me and my husband married. We think thats where a woman`s place is ,is at home.Now i know that sounds "dark-age-ish", but it worked for our grandparents and it actually works for us. My husband doesnt make much but he supports us just fine,we dont have to have extra frills to be happy like so many others, we dont have to have a 5br house to be happy our 2br works just fine. I think thats what most women dont understand,they are so set on have to have an exrtemely high cost of living that they actually miss out on the bonding that goes on between husband and wife when you live modestly. As for Kate I`ve always thought she was an idiot anyway!

Thursday, September 23, 2010 - Victoria

I have been both a SAHM and a WM and right now I'm 28, I have a 9 year old, a 2 year old and a 5 month old plus an 11 year old step-child... I MISS WORKING!!! I miss meeting new people and having an oppurtunity to learn something at a higher level than watching "Nick Toons" or " Noggin" ( pre-school ) shows! Lol... I miss having my OWN independence, but at the end of the day I KNOW MY children benefit differently from me being home than if I were to work. I'll go back as soon as they are all in school, if I don't go crazy before then!!!

Thursday, September 23, 2010 - Pam B

It is a tough call. I too need outside interaction but wanted to be there for my kids when they were small. How I worked it out with my ex-husband(hubby at time) when my 10yo was a baby was that he worked full time days and I worked part time nights for the first 2yrs. By doing that I was home with my son during the day and able to see his milestones and his personality develop and his father had his time with his son at night to develop that connection as well. By the time he went to daycare/preschool we knew him enough to know if he was truly happy at daycare or not which is important as well. If something bad is happening there and they are too young to know better they just assume that is the norm and you will never know cuz they can't talk about it.

With my 2nd son, who is now 14mo, I am a single mommy now and have to work. Yet due to economy and what not I have been off work since Dec 2009. We have barely made it financially but I have been able to see my little one grow up and develop a very independent personality. Just started back to work so now he is in daycare as when he went to his previous infancy sitter something happened and he is petrified of her. I can now see when something is not right with him and when he is ok. I decided daycare instead of inhome after starting in in-home care, because I think he will do better with more children his own age and the structure of daycare a little more. My time with my son was precious and we really bonded but it is nice to have a life outside of mommyhood as well!

Thursday, September 23, 2010 - Momof4boys

I was a stay at home mom with my 3 oldest boys and I loved it. But the fact is, we have mouths to feed and bills to pay. Our 3 older boys are 10,8 and 6. We just had our 4th son 5 1/2 months ago and I had a hard time not letting my heart control my decision to come back to work. I am Lab Supervisor and I enjoy my work,and I enjoy my adult time with my co-workers. I am always excited to get home at the end of the day with my husband and boys and I think working out side of the home gives you a good balance. SAH moms have a precious job, but so do working moms!!!

Thursday, September 23, 2010 - Sarah B

I have always been a working or "schooling" mom. It wasn't easy leaving my son at 5 weeks old to go back to work, but the rent calls. To me, it was more essential to keep a roof over my head than worry that I might miss a smile while he slept. I'm not saying that I don't wish that it had been different. I wish I could have taken more time off to be with him. But that isn't the way that it was. Finally, when he was two, I got laid off and got unemployment for 6 mos and that was enough to live on, so I stayed home with my son. I loved getting to have so much quality time with him, but found it difficult that I had no adult time. I couldn't afford to go anywhere, let alone pay a sitter, so for six months it was just my son and me. And that wasn't the kind of life I wanted. I appreciate the time I spend with my son soooo much more when I'm not with him 24 hours a day. Plus, as a working mom, I can afford to do things with him like take him to a zoo or to the coast. I believe in quality more than quantity. One last thing, I do have a hard time with the fact that I must work full time to support my household as a single parent. Ideally, I'd like to just work part time, during the hours he is in school, that way, I could be there for him as soon as he gets out of school. That would be my preference...but we do what we can, and part time employment is not an option at this time. But when it is, I will go that route.

Thursday, September 23, 2010 - jennifer hatnon

I am a stay at home momma. We make it but I still wish I can get a job but the only jobs I an get would be minimun wage and that would pay just for day care. I think if it works for you it works if not don't worry. Don't get me wrong either I love staying home with my son but sometimes you need the 8 hours away. Lol I think you working mommas are something to be proud of!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I'm a single mom of 2. I have to work or the kids don't eat. Its just that simple

Monday, August 23, 2010 - whit

katu klye heidi

Tuesday, May 11, 2010 - WorknMomOf2

I adore my sons with all my heart. I love being home, but we would never make it if I stayed home. I also think that as a working mama, I appreciate the time I get with my boys much more than most. Not to put down the SAHMs, but I do what I have to do. Work isn't an option for me.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010 - Shelby G

Well-Done.

I have a 15 month old and i think about him everyday at least 15 to 20 times a day but I have to work. I could never be a sat at home mom, I am one of those people who needs to get out and see people. Even tho I love spending time with my son and being with him. I still like to and have to work.

On the subject of Kate, I useto like her and watch the show but after the divorce I couldn't stand to watch it anymore. The fact that she is always in the news and the spot light and especially on dancing with the stars. She had no business on that show what so ever. She was VERY rude and deserved to be kicked off. I think her dance partner was the happiest person to be kicked off, LOL. My question is who was taken care of the kids? And im not saying that Jon deserves the kids either and has been a better parent but at least he isnt in the news everyday and at least tries to keep his life private. TLC is also to blame for not cutting the show when the diverce started. Enough said.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010 - polly

You are exactly right. To each their own, just love and do the best you can for your children and their mommy!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010 - cristi

my oppion is that a wife should stay home with the kids cause thats what me and my husband he works and i take care of our daughter it dosent mean we are in poverty i think you need to realize that if you stay home with your children they learn alot then a day care cause i know a couple who booth work and yea the kids are in school age but they run around and they dont have a adult around them and so i think the parents choose notif the wife works or not and like i said i dont work and i see my daughter growing every dady and see her mildstones and thats the promblem the parents miss out on that cause booth of them working. And all the usa is in poverty so you cant tell moms that they have to go to work

Monday, May 03, 2010 - Joy J

Well- written, you made some very good points.

I think women need to think with their heads, not with their hearts on this. Yes, we all love our children but if staying home with them means that you have to live in poverty, then you should explore your options of returning to the workforce.

When your children are graduating high school or getting their college degrees, the last thing on their minds will be whether or not their parent stayed home with them for the first two or three years of their lives, but rather the love and nurturing they received from their mom (or dad, or both parents)throughout their childhood, and up to the present day.

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