Bribery

Thursday, July 15, 2010
by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

If you have a toddler in your life, I know you'll understand this rambling.

There is nothing quite as sweet as your infant - from the first minutes you hold them in your arms to their first smiles, coos and the day they have grown so strong they are sitting up on their own. It's all so darn magical.

Don't get me wrong, yes, it was still work. But now, it seems like that was a much simpler time. Why? Well, because now, that infant has grown. That little "pumpkin" who could sit and smile and coo has figured out that they TOO are a little person. They are independent. They can talk. They can walk. Hoo boy. It is a whole other kind of "magic."

Most days, my kiddo is fairly easy going. I'm an over-the-top communicator who tries to prepare her for every step of the day and often it works well. Sometimes though, she has something else on her agenda. Oh yes, most times, I can "go with the flow." I don't mind walking this way instead of that way (though it may take 20 minutes longer) and I don't care if she wears unmatching socks or snow boots in the summer. However, sometimes, there can be no negotiating. These times call for "positive reinforcement."

Positive reinforcement. Doesn't that sound great? Tell those words to your mother-in-law. She'll think you're very smart. The truth of the matter? It's the fancy child development word for "bribery" and it often works.

You see, toddlers DO have a mind of their own and it is up to us parents to get them to use it. However, when we need them to take another path or make another decision, instead of a flat out "no" or "go this way," positive reinforcement is the answer!  It's a win-win for all.

How does it work?

*Find what motivates your child . Right now, key motivations in my kiddo's life include: books, dried banana chips, helping, and - I'll admit it - ice cream.

*Communicate your positive reinforcement tool (i.e. bribe). Example: "Emma, it's time to take a bath." There is no response. Emma's off toddling in another direction. Again.  "Emma, you take a bath, and then we can have a special snack of banana chips." Now you're talking and hopefully Emma's listening.

*Be consistent and stick with it. You can't give in and give out your positive reinforcement if your kiddo hasn't done their part. Yes, you may have a few tears now and then, but they most likely will be short lived and next time around, chances are your munchkin will "get it."

I'm off to buy some more banana chips...what's working for you?

Add a Comment

* Title	RE: Bribery
Name
* Comment

Submit