Awful

Thursday, April 29, 2010
by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

I recently came across a blog entry (not mine, of course) that rattled me.  It wasn't that great of an entry, so I won't bother with a link. The bottom line of the blog was that, at times, parenthood can suck. I beg to differ. Some may say, I'm a bit of Pollyanna, but I am here to tell you, truthfully, we all have our moments.

What has been yours? You know, the moment where you are either in tears or simply frustrated because you are just not sure what the right answer is for this puzzle called parenthood.

For me, parenthood has been a pretty joyous ride. Perhaps the transition was softened by the anticipation of the nearly 14 year wait to meet this little one. Perhaps I have realistic expectations and a few tricks up my sleeve from both my formal education and a few years in the classroom with these little tots. Sometimes my concern is that infancy and toddlerhood has been so much fun that I bound to have a hellish experience when it comes to those teen years.

But I digress. Again, I have had my moments too. What are they? Well, in celebration of those moments, today let's tackle a few of the unpleasentries of parenthood  - the "challenging" moments, the "bumps in the road" as I like to refer to them as. The good news? Most of these are simply developmental norms, normal behaviors children will grow into and then out of as they learn new skills.

Here are my "favorites":

Sleeping, as in how to get a baby to sleep. When your baby isn't sleeping well, chances are you are not sleeping either. And little sleep usually yields a short fuse when it comes to being a patient parent.

Eating, as in eating the right things, at the right time and eventually, eating appropriately. Let's face it, from breastfeeding to first foods, to favorite foods (and foods that toddlers refuse to try), the basics of ensuring that a child is getting the right nutrition can be frustrating for all (including your child).

Tantrums, or as I like to call them, "melt downs." It's beyond crying, it's the way little ones tell us "I've had it. I'm done. I've lost it." The only problem is that it's up to us (calmly) to figure out the why and then how to fix it. Generally, these are outcomes of  being tired, or needing food, or needing attention, or perhaps they just aren't feeling up to par. During toddlerhood, sometimes these arise from " a difference of opinon." It can be as simple as a preference for socks, or foods, etc. My bottom line: pick and choose your battles. Are socks a big deal? No. Nutrition? Yes. Be consistent and fair.

Whatever the case, remember, if your child is out of control, it's up to you to stay in control. If you are going to lose it, keep your little one safe. Put them in their crib or other safe space and take the time you need to regain your control. Breathe, think, and don't hesitate to reach out to a friend or family member for support if you need it.

I am sure there are more "challenges" out there, so let me me hear from you, what are yours?

Together, we'll get through them.

 

 

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