September 2010

Mismatch

Thursday, September 30, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

Toddlers. I love them. Actually, I've loved every stage of "the game," but there's something especially awesome about toddlers. All of a sudden, you really see this little person blossoming. Not only are they rapidly gaining the physical skills to do what they want, when they want (even if you don't want them too!), but they are rapidly acquiring the language skills to communicate (www.planningfamily.com/toddler/development/should-my-toddler-be-speaking-yet/).

Is your toddler showing preferences for toys, foods, and even their clothes?

I love the mismatched toddler. You know, the toddler who decides that the fuzzy pink striped pants will look best with the flowery green shirt and should be topped off by the purple polka dotted rain boots. Ah, perfect!

Do you let them go out of the house this way?

Should you let them go out of the house this way?

Absolutely! The question really is, "why not?"

Let's face it, much of our child's day is dictated by what we believe is best for them. It is dictated sometimes by our needs (as in, "I need to go to work, so you go here...").

We need to empower our children when we can. Raising a toddler can be *trying* at times. They can have strong opinions and are not afraid to tell us how they really feel. Some things  - like safety ("No, I cannot let you stage dive off the kitchen table) are non-negotiable. Others - like mismatched clothes - are a great way to provide your child with the chance to make decisions and express themself.

What is your child wearing these days?

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Evolution

Monday, September 27, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

Evolution. No, I'm not talking about dinosaurs or the world being created in seven days. That's a whole different type of blog! I'm talking about evolution, as in how we evolve as people, how our little tykes develop.

Tomorrow's my big day. Yep, I'm turning 38 years old. Holy smokes, sometimes I feel old. Then, I look in the eyes of my little blue-eyed girl.  I see each day through her eyes, and I run around like a fool in the backyard.  I feel pretty darn young.

Have you changed since you became a parent? I SWORE I would be the same. I would keep my independence. I would keep to my fitness routine and *maintain* my girlish good looks. I promised I would only wear sweat pants when I was working out.

Fast-forward. Whoops. Well, I'm working on those things, but times do change.

Let's face it, taking care of a developing child IS a lot of work! It's not just the physical part (the lifting and picking things up - again and again), it's the social and emotional aspects that wear me out too. My heart is her heart, and when she hurts I want to cry (I don't - afterall, I want to raise her to tackle the challenges that are life). At the end of the day, I'm tired. And sometimes, at the beginning of the day, I'm tired too.

This work pays off though. There's no monetary gain (unless you've figured out something I haven't!). The rewards that come with parenthood are indecscribable. From the moment when you meet this tiniest being, and then you know YOU are the one responsible for it. What an honor. What a journey. What a ride!

It's amazing to watch as newborns make their first sounds, then smiles, then coos and giggles. Newborns grow into infants who gain strength and the ability to sit independently. Next, they're pulling up, and then they are off and stumbling around like a drunken sailor. Then, you see them walk, then jump, and then begin to run.

Our children evolve. We evolve. I'm liking my sweat pants. Happy birthday to me.

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The Siren

Thursday, September 23, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

Those of you who have been reading this blog (thank you!) know that occassionally I get up before the munchkin, getting out for a morning stroll with my two pups. Before the kiddo, my morning stroll was a ritual. It kept me sane. After the kiddo, sleep is a precious commodity. Some things have to give.

During the warm summer days, getting up before daybreak has more incentive. It's warm, and the time before daybreak is simply glorious. As we say good-bye to summer here in the Midwest, I recently managed to get in one more early morning trek.

I was in my glory. I was thinking, "A little lost sleep for this time is worth it." As I was on my way back down the street, I passed the home of some other young folks who happen to have a little guy themselves. Their house was still dark. Then, I heard it. The "siren." You know, that sound that comes from your little one; it starts low and slowly builds into a full-fledged cry. It can be the most startling alarm clock there is. Usually, there is no pushing the snooze button. Or, is there?

We all know how important sleep is for your little one's growth and development:

www.planningfamily.com/blog/sleeping-like-a-baby/

www.planningfamily.com/blog/sleep/

www.planningfamily.com/blog/three-in-the-bed/

How do you get your little one back to sleep when that siren sounds a little too early? Here are a few strategies to try. Let me know how it goes and what is working (or not working) for you!

*Keep it quiet and dark. When you hear your little siren, enter quietly and keep the lights off. Can't see what you're doing? Not to worry, your eyes WILL adjust to the darkness. Try it!

*Don't immediately lift your little one up. Try a soothing touch instead. Sometimes what works best is to simply and gently lay your hand on your infant or young toddler's back.

*"Shhhh." I'm a fan of the "shhhh" sound. Why? Well, because it got me a few more minutes sleep from time to time! Don't use words. Sometimes quiet sounds will help soothe, comfort, and hopefully, lull your child back to sleep.

And when all else fails? Well, do what works for your baby. In addition to the above, yes, there were times I nursed, rocked, and even just tried to enjoy a moment of snuggles and smiles with a kiddo who was up WAY before mama was ready to rise and shine. Of course, later that day, you would also find me with another cup of coffee or two! LOL.

P.S. Want one more good reason why it's important to try to get your munchkin enough sleep? Check out this NPR article I recently stumbled across: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=129636783.  Interesting "food for thought."

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Fear

Monday, September 20, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

Have you experienced those first days with your newborn? (Not yet? Good for you in finding www.planningfamily.com! You're going to be a prepared mama/daddy!).

The day I brought our little girl home was quite sometime ago, but I remember it so vividly. My hubby and I were mesmerized. She was so tiny (okay, she was 9lbs. 4oz., not THAT tiny). We carried her into our home and were on our own. She slept peacefully (well, at least for the first few minutes of arriving home - LOL!). We placed her into her crib. My hubby encouraged me to get some sleep too. We walked out of her room, baby monitor turned to the loudest volume it could go.

A few minutes later, I crept back into her room and curled up on the floor. I wanted to listen to her breathe. I wanted to make sure she was okay. Within a couple of minutes, the hubby peeked into her room too. We had to laugh as we caught each other sneaking around in order to keep an eye on our most precious treasure. We ended up both sitting down on the floor of her room to listen and watch.

There are some things you can control. There are some things you cannot.

Parenthood is one of the first times in my life when I've developed fear about those things that I cannot control.

Over the first few days of having her home, I began to gain confidence that my little girl would be okay. All signs pointed to typical newborn development.

So, what should we REALLY fear as parents? Recently, I came across this article via NPR: www.npr.org/blogs/health/2010/08/30/129531631/5-worries-parents-should-drop-and-5-they-should.

It put in perspective where I spend my time worrying. When it comes to a developing child, there are things you can do (i.e. ensure your car seat is installed properly) and there are things you simply need to let go of.

If you find yourself overwhelmed or consumed by fear, talk to someone. Chances are, you will find that most parents out there are worry warts at one time or another too. I think it's part of the *job description.*

When it comes to your child, what's worrying you?

 

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Weeds

Thursday, September 16, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

It’s fall.  I seem to be spending any minute of yard time I get pulling weeds. It's when I do some of my best thinking about parenthood. Weeds: they are everywhere I look. Nothing seems to stop them; not lack of water or pulling them out. They are Olympians. Dam* weeds. They get in the way of my perfect garden.

 

I’ve decided that keeping my garden weeded can be compared to some of the adventures of raising a child. Just like the garden, there are plenty of weeds in my life that get in the way of my goal of raising a happy, healthy child.

 

There are the weeds of health problems, those “bumps in the road” (ugh…a sick child) that sometimes get in the way.

 

There are weeds in family life, relationships that I need to work on and work through in order to make them work in my child’s life. Weeds sometimes seem to pop up in the most inappropriate of places. Although they are trimmed back, they are resilient (most times, kids are too: www.planningfamily.com/blog/resilient/).

 

Don’t get me wrong. Despite the weeds in parenthood, “flowers” (new skills, words, etc.) usually bloom.

 

Every day we tend to our garden.  We tend to our lives. Just as our vision each spring is for our outdoor gardens to bloom, so is our vision for our garden of life. The flowers in our garden are comprised of  people and resources – different and beautiful – that help us as parents. Each day we have the opportunity to plant new seeds that will grow, if nourished. Their roots, embedded in the ground, hold these new flowers and enable them to grow strong, despite those pesky weeds.

 

The garden of parenthood can be beautiful.

 

I suppose it’s time for another twenty minutes of pulling weeds.

 

Then again, maybe the weeds aren’t so bad after all. They make us stronger people. They make us stronger parents. What weeds are you battling these days?

 

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Celebrate

Monday, September 13, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

It's the hubby's birthday. Time to celebrate! I admit it.  Since the kiddo came along, it's a bit harder to pull off some of my b-day celebration ideas.

Prior to the munchkin coming into our lives, I was always so good at planning ahead. I'd have the cake ordered and surprise him at work on his special day. The birthday evening might hold a special dinner out, attending a sports event, or even an elaborate surprise party with family and friends.

Now, with a wee little one in our household, most holidays she takes the stage. How can she not? She's cute and everything is exciting and new. It's wonderful to watch every celebration - every day for that matter - through her eyes.

I've written about traditions before (www.planningfamily.com/blog/tradition!/) and the importance of them in our child's life. In our house, birthdays aren't so much about tradition as they are simply a time to stop and celebrate. This year, the celebration may look a little different. I may not get the cake ordered and delivered to his workplace. We may be at home vs. some fancy restaurant. The surprise party may have only gotten planned in my head. Nonetheless, I know it will still be a special day for him. This year when he blows out the candles, she'll be clapping and smiling. I know that is one of the best presents he could get.

As for her, these celebrations let her know that she is part of something special too. She is part of a family, a family who loves and cherishes one another. When it comes to development, feeling that you belong, that you matter, and that you are special is one of the best ways to be confident in your place, in your family, and in your community.

The celebrations may have changed. They may look different, but they are more important than ever.

Bring on the cake! Happy birthday, honey.

 

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Camp!

Thursday, September 09, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

Summer. I'm not ready to see it end (and it doesn't officially end until September 21).

I'm not going to let it end. Yet. 

It's time to head out for...one...last...summer...outing. This summer, with a toddler in tow, I decided to give camping a try. Before now, camping seemed a bit too overwhelming of an excursion. Camping with an infant, too much of a challenge for me.  (I know MY limitations, but have to say, I saw several new mamas doing just fine with infants in our camping area.) As for our family, now that we have a walking, talking, and potty-trained machine, we decided to give it a try. The price of camping is definitely right, and if you are a young family looking for a reasonably priced getaway, this may be the answer you are looking for!

Before heading away from home, I gave the campout a test drive in our sunporch. Smooth sailing. Next up, I made reservations at one of our wonderful (i.e. organized kid activities, playground, and flushable toilets) state parks. I packed up everything (and I do mean EVERYTHING) and off we went! Two days later, no one was in tears. We survived. We thrived. Now, we are heading back for one last summer weekend of fun.

Why camping? Why not?!

The outdoors is a natural teacher. There's textures (grass, pine cones, sand, etc.), there's sounds (crickets, birds, and nothing at all), and there's the simplicity of life (meaning no TV, cars, and - best yet - no place in particular to be). Yes, it's lots of packing, and - I'll admit - lots of work, but it's worth it.

Time to pack up and head out...

Have you camped with your munchkin? What has the experience taught you and your child?

 

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Paint

Tuesday, September 07, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

I work in the arts. When I brought my munchkin home, bringing music into her life was a high priority. I didn't think much more about the arts at that time (quite frankly, eating, sleeping, and going to the bathroom were at the top of my to-do list). However, after a couple weeks of having her home, I decided to venture into painting. Yes, painting. With real paint (non-toxic, washhable - of course).

Painting with a newborn? Seriously? Absolutely!

The idea for attempting this was an outcome of getting formal (in the studio) pictures taken when she was 10 days old (Note: be sure to get plenty of pictures in those first days! There's nothing quite as beautiful as a newborn, and soon they will lose that newborn look as they quickly blossom into a beautiful baby). As I put the picture into a small frame, I wanted to capture more of this beautiful time. The next thing I knew, I had my hubby helping out as we placed our baby gently on a towel and began applying paint to the bottom of her teeny tiny feet. I then gently placed these little feet on a piece of canvas board. "Ta-da," - it was one of the most beautiful pieces of artwork I had seen.

Around 3-4 months, as her little fingers began to open and she began to explore, I introduced that paint once again. This time, she was propped up and I held a small artist canvas board out in front her. I moved her hand across the paint. She smiled and seemed to enjoy the sensory experience. It was only a few minutes of an activity.  Be sure to have a warm wash cloth ready, and don't freak - as I did - if your munchkin tries to put their hand into their mouth.  After all, a baby's natural way to learn is through sensory exploration via their mouth. The artwork that was the outcome will be treasured forever.

I've continued painting with my kiddo. She's now big enough that she doesn't attempt to eat the paint and is even starting to use a paintbrush.

There are many benefits when it comes to painting with babies. These include providing appropriate sensory explorations and supporting fine motor development. These are great outcomes. Still, my favorite is capturing her development and celebrating it each and every day as I look at it hung on the wall.

Have you tried painting with your munchkin?

Enjoy!

 

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Repeat

Thursday, September 02, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

I believe that some things are worth repeating. This is the case with the blog entry I wrote to begin the new year. It was my personal committment to my child. It was my committment to supporting her development.

As a parent, I admit it, sometimes I get lazy. Sometimes, I get in a "funk." Parenting can be hard.

You missed it? Here you go.

Did you read it? Believe it? How are you doing?

Perhaps you don't like links. If not, this is for you:

• Read, sing, and talk with my little one daily. Stop the noise (whether that be the TV, radio, or just miscellaneous distractions found in an ordinary day) and focus, one-on-one, on your little one. Snuggle up and settle down. Enjoy.

 

• Be fit with your child. I know all the excuses because I use them too. Pledge to make time to move and groove with your munchkin. Maybe it's dancing in the living room (think of the triceps you can build while holding a baby and dancing!), or maybe it's a walk in the great outdoors (yes, I know it is cold outside, I live in Cleveland. Bundle up.).  Watch your family's food intake. Think more veggies, less cookies.

 

• Patience. Patience. Patience. Being a parent is hard work. Being an infant or toddler or preschooler is hard work too. Be patient. Kind. Loving. Model the behaviors you want for your child. And, when that doesn't work, take a break or a breath, and then try again. Remember, parenthood is not a race. There is no start and no finish. It is a journey in which some days may be easier than others.

 

• Surround yourself and your child with good people. We don't pick our family, but we do pick our friends, some of them who we call upon like they are family. If you don't like the role models and support in your life, find new models and support. Find individuals who will support your child's healthy growth and development. Surround yourself with people who will give you the support you need as a parent. Find those who will stick with you when the bumps in the road are the biggest.

 

• Make time and take time with your child. It doesn't take an investment of money to raise a healthy and happy child (although, I won't lie to you, certainly money does make some things easier, but that's a blog of a different kind). It does take an investment of your time. Every day in all kinds of ways. From taking care of physical health and well-being, to providing social, emotional, and cognitive experiences, it's up to you to do it for your child.

What else?

Honestly, I don't think much else is needed.

Sometimes, I just need a reminder. The change of season is a good time to recommit to the essentials, to the basics of doing what is best for our children.

How are your New Year's resolutions holding up?

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