July 2010

Three in the Bed

Thursday, July 29, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

Zzzzzzzzz...Sleep. I've written a lot about it:

www.planningfamily.com/blog/sleeping-like-a-baby/

www.planningfamily.com/blog/sleep/

Why?

Why not?

If the kiddo isn't sleeping, chances are, neither are you. Without sleep, no one feels good. It's also essential for development.

In our house, we've been *pretty* lucky. *Most* nights, I can't complain. However, some nights, I feel like I've been running a marathon back and forth from my bed to the munchkin's room. With the baby monitor close by, I hear every sniffle, sneeze, and sigh, and every sound makes me jump up and check on her.

Sometimes, she's simply restless. Sometimes, something else is going on. The worst nights are those when she is coming down with something. I'm up. I'm down. I'm up. I'm down. I'm up. I'm down.

Then, I give in.

I give up.

At this point, it's just about getting some sleep.

Sometimes, this means bringing her in bed with us. Sometimes, it means crawling in bed with her (ah, the comfort of sleeping in a toddler bed).

Wherever it takes place, co-sleeping has gotten us through when needed. For some of my buddies, it's a regular part of their family. Want to learn more? Check out: www.planningfamily.com/babies/sleeping/sleeping-go-it-alone-or-with-your-baby/.

How are you getting through the nights?

 

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Safe & Secure

Monday, July 26, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

When it comes to thoughts, opinions, and pet peeves regarding child development, I have no shortage. Perhaps that is why this blog continues...I have plenty to say. When it comes to child development, there are so many directions to go. From a newborn's physical growth, to the magnificient (and, sometimes "challenging") emotional-social development of toddlers, development is nothing short of amazing.

Of course, development can't happen if we don't keep our kiddos safe. Most of us have the best of intentions. However, sometimes we overlook the little things that can optimize development and/or simply ensure our munchkins are safe and have the opportunity to continue to learn and grow as healthy infants and toddlers.

Where am I going? Hang on...

Recently, I've encountered several family members and friends who are fabulous parents. I admire their patience, humor, and their savvy shopping of the best resources for their kiddos. Then, I notice the way their kiddo is buckled into their car seat, and I find my hands automatically in motion, working to correct their oversights. (Note: my hands are set in motion, I try to keep my mouth quiet.) I see it way too often. So many people - even the best and brightest of parents - overlook the simplest details when it comes to keeping their kiddo safe in the car.

Where to start? Here's a great spot: www.planningfamily.com/newborn/safety/infant-car-seat-safety/.

Then, move on to here: www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/on-the-go/pages/Car-Safety-Seats-Information-for-Families-2010.aspx.

The main problems I see are that the harnesses of the carseat are:

1) NOT snug enough (most are way too loose) and;

2) the harness clip is NOT positioned at mid-chest level.

If kiddos aren't securely fastened in OR the harness is too low or too high, the car seat cannot and will not do its job at protecting our child in case of an accident. It's so simple. It doesn't take anymore time, yet - again and again - I see these beautiful little kiddos improperly positioned in their car seats.

In doubt? Check in your local community (often the police and/or fire department) for someone trained on car seat installation and usage. Take advantage of this (often free) resource. It's one of the easiest and best things you can do for your child's development.

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The Big Race

Thursday, July 22, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

I admit it. I haven't registered for that yoga class yet (www.planningfamily.com/blog/happy-mothers-day/). But today, I took a step in the right direction. I took a step towards caring for myself.

Yes, here I go on my soapbox. Again. Are you taking care of yourself? We all know that it is true and somehow, it seems that it is one of the things we put on the back burner most often - happy parents = happy kiddos. One of the best things we can do to ensure we are able to take care of our children is to also take care of ourselves.

Here I sit. I'm still holding onto a few extra pounds from that pregnancy. Yes, I do read the blog (www.planningfamily.com/blog/health-fitness-and-nutrition/). Sometimes reading is as far as I get. I have such good intentions.

This morning I ran a 5K. Well, I ran most of a 5K. I crossed the finish line and I felt great about my accomplishment. What made me feel even better was the munchin and her daddy at the finish line chanting, "Go, mama, go!"

I am not an avid runner. In fact, I didn't run my first 5K until about a month ago. The only reason why I attempted it was a friend's request in celebration of her birthday. It wasn't so bad.

So many times, I talk to other mamas who are also holding onto a few extra pounds. We're more tired than we ever have been. Our bodies often ache from holding a kiddo in our arms or on our hip (though we wouldn't trade it for the world). It's a hard balancing act. I'm not sure I'll ever get it perfect, but today, I took one step in the right direction. Back to baby steps (www.planningfamily.com/blog/baby-steps/) - for my development and my child's.

What are you doing for your development?

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Dealing with Death

Monday, July 19, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

I hate writing about the subject of today's blog. Some things about development and life simply suck. I happen to think death is one of them.

When the munchkin was 2 1/2 years old, our kitty Stimpy died. Stimpy was one of my first babies, back from my days in college. She was the cat found by my then boyfriend (now, hubby) . She lived with me in college. She was with us when we bought our first house. She was with us when we brought our little girl home. I know she lived a long life and I was grateful for it. She was a good kitty. It was terribly difficult to watch her wither away and I knew she was going to die.

My toddler also recognized that something was wrong. I tried to keep my head and remember to use developmentally appropriate words, using language she would understand. I tried to be honest. I went looking for children's books about pets and dying (I'll list a few below). I tried not to cry in front of her.

Stimpy passed away during the day. My husband and I had a few minutes of private grieving before we went to pick up the kiddo from the sitter. When we all got home, we didn't say anything about Stimpy. Two days passed and then the kiddo spoke "Stimpy went to kitty heaven." She understood that Stimpy was gone. Nearly 6 months later, she still talks about Stimpy. She still sings to her on occasion.

Have you had to deal with death since your child came along? What have you done? What haven't you?

Here are a few tips/strategies to keep in mind...unfortunately, all of us encounter loss in our lives:

*Do be honest with your child. It is okay to use the word "died."

*Don't give too many details. Keep it simple. If a child asks questions, give them the answer, but allow them to acquire new information as they need it.

*Do grieve in front of your child, but keep in mind that your child may not understand all of your sadness. Excessive crying and extreme sadness may be too much for a young child to deal with. Ask for the support and private time that you need.

*Use resources - books are wonderful. Here are a few to check out (remember, library rentals are FREE):

"Someone I Loved Died" by Christine Harder Tangvald

"Heaven" by Nicholas Allan

"Liplap's Wish" by Jonathan London

"Hugs on the Wind" by Marsha Diane Arnold and Vernise Elaine Pelzel

 

 

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Bribery

Thursday, July 15, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

If you have a toddler in your life, I know you'll understand this rambling.

There is nothing quite as sweet as your infant - from the first minutes you hold them in your arms to their first smiles, coos and the day they have grown so strong they are sitting up on their own. It's all so darn magical.

Don't get me wrong, yes, it was still work. But now, it seems like that was a much simpler time. Why? Well, because now, that infant has grown. That little "pumpkin" who could sit and smile and coo has figured out that they TOO are a little person. They are independent. They can talk. They can walk. Hoo boy. It is a whole other kind of "magic."

Most days, my kiddo is fairly easy going. I'm an over-the-top communicator who tries to prepare her for every step of the day and often it works well. Sometimes though, she has something else on her agenda. Oh yes, most times, I can "go with the flow." I don't mind walking this way instead of that way (though it may take 20 minutes longer) and I don't care if she wears unmatching socks or snow boots in the summer. However, sometimes, there can be no negotiating. These times call for "positive reinforcement."

Positive reinforcement. Doesn't that sound great? Tell those words to your mother-in-law. She'll think you're very smart. The truth of the matter? It's the fancy child development word for "bribery" and it often works.

You see, toddlers DO have a mind of their own and it is up to us parents to get them to use it. However, when we need them to take another path or make another decision, instead of a flat out "no" or "go this way," positive reinforcement is the answer!  It's a win-win for all.

How does it work?

*Find what motivates your child . Right now, key motivations in my kiddo's life include: books, dried banana chips, helping, and - I'll admit it - ice cream.

*Communicate your positive reinforcement tool (i.e. bribe). Example: "Emma, it's time to take a bath." There is no response. Emma's off toddling in another direction. Again.  "Emma, you take a bath, and then we can have a special snack of banana chips." Now you're talking and hopefully Emma's listening.

*Be consistent and stick with it. You can't give in and give out your positive reinforcement if your kiddo hasn't done their part. Yes, you may have a few tears now and then, but they most likely will be short lived and next time around, chances are your munchkin will "get it."

I'm off to buy some more banana chips...what's working for you?

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Epidemic

Monday, July 12, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

Epidemic. The word itself just sounds bad. It sounds a lot worse when combined in a sentence involving infants/toddlers/children. As in this recent sentence seen in the news: "Whooping cough is declared an epidemic in California." Missed the news? Here's the story: shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/whooping-cough-is-declared-an-epidemic-in-california-1828859/.

What is the best way to protect your child and others?

It's simple. Follow the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended schedule for vaccinations: www.aap.org/immunization/IZSchedule.html.

I admit, I slightly revised my kiddo's immunization schedule from the AAP's recommendation. Yes, I know there is/was nothing to fear (www.planningfamily.com/babies/health-and-well-being/vaccination-and-autism/), but I AM a mama, it IS my job to worry.

How are you protecting YOUR child? Are you up to date on vaccinations? If not, why? How are you protecting your child?

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Clean Your Plate

Thursday, July 08, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

It's times like these I love www.planningfamily.com/. I need answers and I need them now. You see, feeding my infant was oh so easy (don't get me wrong, breastfeeding, pumping, etc. IS work), but it seemed easier knowing that she was getting the nutrition she needed. Good nutrition = optimal development. With bottles, I could track ounces consumed. Nursing, well, I knew she was getting the valuable nutrients she needed.

Fast forward to our dinner table these days and I am not so sure. Now, she has an opinion. She definitely has preferences and is not afraid to express them. She's not much of a meat eater (I can't blame her, I haven't touched red meat or pork since I was preggo).  Is she getting enough protein? Of course, she loves fruits, but veggies? Depends on the day. Now, she has discovered juice. "Milk or water?," I ask. "Juice," she responds. Oh the fun of doing battle with the "honest" child.

So, what about nutrition for toddlers? Oh, yes, www.planningfamily.com/toddler/nutrition-and-feeding/ to the rescue!

At this point, I know she's not going to waste away. The question becomes when to say "okay" to her being finished vs. trying for just a few more bites.

I remember those days of sitting at my dinner table as a kid (definitely a few years older than my kiddo) and stewing as I was made to finish my milk (which, by this point was warm and often littered with morsels of food I was trying to avoid). I don't want to go down that road again.

What's your philosophy when it comes to eating? Is your child cleaning their plate?

Signing off for now...I have some reading to do!

www.planningfamily.com/toddler/nutrition-and-feeding/guide-to-toddler-nutrition/

 

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Dive In...Splash Around, Part 2

Monday, July 05, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

Ah...summer. I've spent the last three evenings at our local pool. Every visit is only thirty minutes to an hour, but it confirms that summer is here. I am trying to soak in every minute of it. It's a bit different this year.

With the munchkin in tow, everything (okay, most things) at the pool is ultra cool and exciting. A walking and talking machine, she's ready for sunscreen (most labels note that sunscreen should not be used for infants under 6 months of age) and she's diggin' the water this year.

Have you splashed about with your child in a pool? The first time we ventured to the pool, things didn't go as I had hoped(www.planningfamily.com/blog/dive-in-splash-around/).

Now, we're back in those swim lessons and I am the parent trying to contain their kiddo's excessive, joyful squeals.

Are you wondering when is the right time for your child to take swim lessons and at what age can they learn to swim? Me too!

I've done a little digging and here's what I've found out:

*As it goes, all children are different and there's no magic answer to when children should begin such programs as "swim" lessons. However, most experts agree, young children (infants as young as 6 months and toddlers) can reap positive benefits by enrollment in such programs. The number one thing most programs aim to teach the youngest children is how to pull themself out of the water by grabbing onto the edge of the pool and climbing out, thus giving children tools to be safe.  Programs also provide positive and fun ways for children to become comfortable in the water (i.e. using the familiar children's rhyme "Humpty Dumpty" to encourage a child to leap into your arms while you are standing in the water).

*If your child isn't lovin' swim class, it may be best to not push them.  Realize they do not have to acquire the skills today, but - like everything else - learning to enjoy the water may be a slow process. Baby steps (www.planningfamily.com/blog/baby-steps/). And, if after some time (and a lot of patience) your child is still not enjoying the experience of being in the water, it may be time to give it a break and try again at a later time.

*Most children learn to swim independently around the same time they will learn to ride a bike. The average age is 5 to 6 years. However, children can be proficient swimmers as young as 3 years.

What's your experience with your kiddo this summer in the water? Any tricks or tips to share?

I'm back off to the pool...time to "dive in and splash around!"

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Red, White and BOOM!

Thursday, July 01, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

Happy 4th of July!

If you are pregnant, THIS is your time. Go to the fireworks this year! Enjoy a late night out under the stars.

If you have an infant or toddler, you may not like my blog this time around. Are you thinking about heading out to the fireworks? Of course, it is your call (you are the parent), but this 4th of July, it may be time to enjoy a quiet evening at home. Yes, really.

Seriously? Yes, I am being completely serious.

I love the 4th of July. It IS the definition of summer fun. There's picnics, family, swimming and, of course, fireworks.  Since the kiddo came along, I haven't seen many fireworks displays.

There's many things you get with parenthood. Sometimes, you may have to temporarily let go of things too, perhaps things you once really enjoyed. You have to learn to be patient. You have to wait for your child to grow into activities and outings that will be appropriate for them. For us, fireworks has been one of those things I've felt she hasn't quite been ready for.

Why am I being such a party pooper?

Well, first of all, my job is to write a blog about child development. My job is to share random ramblings and insights about things that may optimize your munchkin's growth. That is what we all dream of - the happy, healthy child.

So, before you go packing up the blanket and running out of the house with the munchkin in tow this 4th of July, consider a few things:

1) What is your child's reaction to loud sounds? Will the sound of fireworks frighten them? If you're still heading out, plan accordingly - think earplugs (or earmuffs) and also consider a location with some distance between you and the actual launch site of the fireworks. Want to learn more about hearing/hearing issues in young children? Check out: www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/developmental-disabilities/Pages/Hearing-Loss.aspx.

2) Consider your child's sleep schedule. Are they out by 7pm or "rockin' and rollin'" till the wee hours? If early to bed, think about how they may feel being taken from bed in the middle of their night.  How will this disruption in sleep affect them that evening or the next day?

3) Fireworks may be beautiful to you, but scary as hell to your child. Remember, fireworks are a brand new experience.  The world is all new - too much, too soon can simply be overwhelming and frightening.

Of course, there are some kiddos who are so "go with the flow," nothing may phase them and, as a parent, nothing may phase you. It may all be okay. It may all be appropriate for your child. However, if in doubt, consider some summer fun in your own backyard.  For us, there's been a tradition of putting the kiddo to bed and sitting out on our patio listening to the festivities around the neighborhood.

Development and doing what's best for your child is all about timing...here's hoping that you have the time of your life on the 4th!

Cheers and a happy, healthy and safe holiday weekend!

 

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