June 2010

Life Without TV?

Monday, June 28, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

Life without television. Can you do it? Our family is. Well, almost. For the last month, we have been a family without cable. We do have a DVD player and free rentals from our local library.

Why?

I've written a few blogs about the impact of television on infant and toddler development:

www.planningfamily.com/blog/the-boob-tube/

www.planningfamily.com/blog/turn-off-the-tv-/

With summertime here, it seemed the perfect time to say good-bye to cable (and hello to a savings of $960/year...how about that to help with some of those expenses related to the munchkin!). I've never been much of a TV fan (the hubby often referred to any TV watching in our household as "Jeannie's naptime"). Then, when the munchkin came along, I only grew to dislike it more. Some friends and family think we are a bit crazy. And, yes, it did take a little pursuading to get the hubby onboard.  He became convinced by my passion on the subject and also when I ran the numbers - sometimes, money does talk.

My dislike of cable TV isn't just about the shows, but also the commercials. There is too much junk on TV that is trying to influence my kid's growing brain. There are enough signs around town and in every store telling her and I what we should buy, eat and will enjoy. She will catch on soon enough.

For now, I like the idea of limiting the exposure to such media sources. Saying goodbye to cable TV was an easy way to make a positive change in our household and in her development.

Concerned about the marketing messages the boob tube will feed your child? If so, you can learn more and join others who lobby to ensure that commercials and other marketing materials are in the best interest of all children. Learn more about the "Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood:" www.commercialexploitation.org/aboutus.htm.

Can you do it? If you've been tuning in, summertime is a great time to turn it off.

Come on...let's go back outside and play.

 

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Inspiration

Thursday, June 24, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

Sometimes the going gets tough: www.planningfamily.com/blog/awful/. When it does, I often turn to my refrigerator. Yeah, I like ice cream a lot, but the other thing that helps me through is a good quote. I've collected quotes since way back when and my favorites are pasted on the refrigerator. I don't read them every day. Sometimes I forget they are there. Until, I need them. Then, I know where to find comfort, advice and inspiration.

Recently, I was in our library sans kiddo. This meant I had five minutes to peruse the stacks all by myself. I often find myself wandering into the parenting books section. There's just so much stuff and even if I never get through a single book from start to finish, I usually take away a few helpful tidbits. Such was my latest find: Everyday Opportunties for Extraordinary Parenting by Bobbi Conner, host of Public Radio's The Parent Journal.

Browsing the contents, I found some new quotes to add to my fridge collection. Thought I would share a few with you, just in case you ever needs some inspiration too. Enjoy!

Love means...spending time and paying attention to children. It means family rituals. Children like structure and they like to have things they can count on happening. - Marion Wright Edelman, founder/president of the Children's Defense Fund

Sometimes we focus so hard on all the things we're supposed to do that we forget to enjoy. And children are only with us for a very short time! - Judy Ford, family therapist and author

You know your child better than anybody else. You are the expert with your child! - Dr. Charlotte Thompson, pediatrician

Some children are extremely difficult. Some children are shy...it's all right to be shy. We don't create a child. In fact the important thing...is to help the child find out who he is..and that is a very exciting and wonderful and thrilling job! - Dr. Jeree Pawl, clinical psychologist

Play is serious work for children and we ought not interrupt it. - Bob Keeshan, TV personality and author

And there's plenty more...if you need more inspiration, check out your local library too!

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5 Reasons To Eat More Oatmeal

Tuesday, June 22, 2010 by Helen Golden

5 Reasons To Eat More Oatmeal!

Oatmeal is more than a meal. Many people think of oatmeal as a cold weather breakfast, but this ancient food is perfect for snacks and as an anytime food to help keep your energy level up before, during and after pregnancy!

Control Your Cholesterol: The soluble fiber found in oatmeal has been found to reduce LDL (the bad stuff) without lowering HDL (the good stuff) cholesterol.

Micro and Macro Nutrients: How about some selenium, magnesium, iron, vitamin E, zinc and manganese? Macro… a decent source of protein!

Cardiovascular Disease: Studies prove that folks who eat more oatmeal are less likely to develop heart disease, a leading killer in the United States.

Kicking Cancer’s Butt: Oatmeal contains high amounts of insoluble fiber, which it turns out contains cancer fighting properties that wreak havoc on certain bile acids, reducing their toxicity.

Alternative Energy: According to multiple studies, oatmeal helps you maintain a steady level of energy throughout the day. Again, it’s the super-soluble fiber, which helps slow the release of sugar into the bloodstream, helping you avoid those nasty sugar spikes… and the sleepy feeling you feel after eating carbs.

The Skinny: When shopping for oatmeal, look for brands that are low in sugar, since the added sweet stuff in instant oatmeal defeats the purpose of maintaining low blood sugar.

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Daddy's Day

Monday, June 21, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

I didn't forget this time: www.planningfamily.com/blog/happy-mothers-day/. How did you celebrate? Dad's day is a great time to think about the impact of your "hubby/partner-in-crime/significant other" in your munchkin's life. What do they bring to the table? How do or will they shape your kiddo's life?

When we found out we were expecting, there were many things we talked about. One of the discussions that came up was what each of us would call each other and what our little one would call each of us.

I preferred "Mama" or "Mommy." Forget "Mother" - I think it sounds too formal.

"Dad" was the preference of my sweetie. Was is the key word. It was his preference until he met his little girl. I remember sitting in my hospital bed the morning after delivery. I watched him as he towered over the isolet, watching her. Then, he held her. Tears ran down his face. From that day forward, I don't believe there was any sweeter word to him than "Daddy."

I thought I knew him, but then he became a father. He became a "Daddy." His patience extended farther than I ever thought. His compassion ran deeper than I ever knew. His smiles were wider and his laughter louder.

He's my husband and my little girl's daddy. And, he's the best. Happy Daddy's Day 2010.

 

 

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Old Shoes

Friday, June 18, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

Sixteen years ago I married my beloved. Yes, I am "old," I also married "young".  We waited thirteen years before taking the plunge into this adventure called "parenthood." It was well worth the wait.

Did things change between us with the addition of a munchkin? Have they changed for you? "Yes," and I am guessing "yes." Doesn't everything evolve?

For me, it was one of the scariest parts of becoming parent. What would become of "us?" I needed him to stay in this journey with me. I also knew our daughter needed him. Tag-teaming the responsibilities seems to make it doable, not to mention the positive impact a two-parent family has on a child's development.  Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of friends and family flying "solo," and they are a-okay as are their munchkins.  There is more than one way to raise a happy, healthy, child.

As for us, it's been a long time that we have been together. I hope it will be a long, long time. One way I describe this love is "old shoe love."

When you describe your love as "old shoe love," people might feel sorry for you. Maybe they will think, "they'll never make it." I beg to differ. "Old shoe love" is the best kind of love.

Think about your favorite pair of shoes. They may look a bit worn, but you will never throw them away. They're comfortable. They fit perfectly. You love to wear them.

Perhaps you clean them up on occasion, maybe even buy a new pair of shoestrings. They shine again and for a few days, maybe even months, they're just like new.

As time goes on, and as you go through your days, they may get splashed by mud. They may get grass stains. Some stains never fade. They may never be brand new again, but you love your shoes anyway.

They may not be perfect anymore, but they are the perfect fit.

Yes, my love - old shoe love (yes, this post is for you "Toastmaster" - Happy Anniversary) is the best kind of love there is.
 

 

 

 

 

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Fitness Indifference? You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010 by Helen Golden

Fact: More than 55% of people in the United States are overweight.

Fact: More than 60% of people in the U.S. don’t get enough regular exercise.

Question: How’s that possible?

Is it a lack of information? A lack of knowledge,  or…? Hardly! Health providers, physicians, fitness experts and even PlanningFamily.com are constantly pumping endless quality information about healthy living! So how is it possible that 55% of us are overweight?

This same question has been on the mind of the health club industry, which is motivated to market to all the couch potatoes out there. When asked how the average American felt about obesity and being overweight, the answer was really quite amazing, 7% said they felt just fine about it! Yikes!

The sad truth is that most Americans are satisfied with their health, according to the International Health, Racquet and Sports-Club Association, which commissioned the survey.

Magic: 14% of those surveyed pursue “fitness” benefits from a bottle, in the form of weight loss magic pills.

Would – Coulda – Shoulda: 12% know they should, but don’t. They live in a purgatory of fitness guilt – Crazy I know.

Prevention: 8% are focused on the health benefits of fitness (Only 8%!!!!)

Sit-at-home Skeptics: 13% feel fitness is overrated and unnecessary. I’m flabbergasted!

Social Competition: 20% of younger folks do it for fun and socializing. Who cares, as long as they’re “doing it”.

Kinda scary isn’t it? Whatever your feelings are about exercise, remember the cost of not exercising:

1. Heart disease
2. Low energy
3. Diabetes
4. Depression
5. Etc, etc, etc

It only takes 30 minutes, 5 times per week to realize reasonable benefits. Just do it.

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Stand Up

Monday, June 14, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

A couple weeks ago I had one of those proud mama moments. We were hosting one of our "International Supper Club for Kids Nights" (Italy - YUM! - www.planningfamily.com/blog/international-supper-club-for-kids/). The munchkins were running around in the backyard playing "jump rope" which, in toddler translation, means holding onto a rope and running wildly around in circles. All was good. Then, I heard "Emma, no thank you!" Those words were loud, they were mean, and they came from my kid.  It was then I knew she had learned how to right things when she felt wronged.

Do I sound terrible? Maybe. But think about it. How do you teach your child how to stand up for themselves? How do you teach them  to make being "wronged," right? How do you give them the confidence to speak up? To speak out?

I don't have all the answers. What I do have is some observations of what seems to be working in giving my kiddo survival skills. Let's face it, not all of the world is so nice. There are times ahead when we will not be there to protect and help our child through a challenging situation.

Back to the hows:

*Give your child words. I heard myself in my child's voice that day. When her behavior is not appropriate, you'll hear me saying "E, no thank you."

*Model the behavior you desire. I am delighted she used words and wasn't physical (it's helpful when keeping friends in the neighborhood too). www.planningfamily.com/blog/bullies/

*Mediate when necessary. In the situation I described above, all worked out well. The kiddo spoke her mind. Part of the rope came back into her hands and play went on. However, remember, toddlers and young preschoolers are just developing their language skills and may need help. A good way to approach a conflict is by asking more questions than answers ("What happened?") and helping children find compromise (i.e. taking turns).

It was only a jump rope. I don't even know if she was right to feel wronged. But, I was proud to see the moment where I saw a confident little girl standing up on her own.

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What's In A Name?

Thursday, June 10, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

What's in a name? I've always had one of those names I've really disliked. Come on. How did they come up with Barbara Jean (sorry if you are a fan, or you or a family member share the name)? They never even used the Barbara part. It's always been "Jeannie." When people call upon "Barbara," I often don't answer and when I do, I probably sound annoyed at the sheer fact that obviously they don't know me and my preferences.

This is all very important stuff to consider if you are in the process of selecting a name for your child. Don't take it lightly. Think long term. How will this name look on the office door or sound being announced on a PA system? Where to start? Here's a good place: www.planningfamily.com/baby-names/picking-out-baby-names/.

Recently, this came out: www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/. Are you going with the most popular or trying to stay clear of this list  altogether? There's always retro: www.planningfamily.com/babies/baby-names/top-baby-names-of-the-1950s/.

Names and your child's personality. Do or will they go together? Does a name influence who a person is or who they will become? Maybe not directly, but I believe there is a link. A name says a lot about a person.

What do you hope your baby's name will say about them?

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Journeys

Monday, June 07, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

I started this blog here: www.planningfamily.com/blog/baby-steps/. We've come a long way, baby.

Where are you in this journey? Where are you going? How are you going to get there? How are you going to get your child there?

Parenthood. There is A LOT that is unpredictable, and, perhaps, uncontrollable. Kiddos get sick. They get hurt. Sometimes, their needs are tough to figure out.

As I mentioned in the first days of writing, I *thought* I was prepared for this journey called parenthood. *Thought.* Oh, don't get me wrong, it's been a fantastic ride. You're a parent, you know what I mean. It's the kind of ride - like some of my favorites at the amusement park - that gets my heart pounding (sometimes my head too) and often wears me out.  Yet, I keep getting back on.

Articles, books and blogs are helpful (thank you www.planningfamily.com/). Sometimes friends and family have the insight I need. And, then there is the munchkin. There are many times SHE teaches me, SHE leads the way in this journey.

When was the right time to move her from a bassinet to the crib?

When was the right time to stop nursing?

When was she ready for her first group, social (playdate) experience?

When was she ready to potty train?

How and when should she move from her crib to a toddler bed?

And the list goes on...

These are the questions we all ponder. In child development, there are "developmental norms" (averages of when most kiddos do certain things/obtain certain skills).  Then, there is your child. Yes, pediatricians will pay attention to developmental norms. It's one way they have of tracking (healthy) growth and development. It's one way they have of ensuring that there are no medical issues. However, it's important to know that there are many, many children that will go outside or around these norms. They will surprise us. They will make their own paths. They will do things sooner. They will acquire skills later. Oh, yes, absolutely, if you are concerned, do ask your pedicatrician.  However, keep it all in perspective.

Think about where your child is. Where do you want them to go? What skills are they working on? What are they interested in? What are their reactions to things? For example, when my munchkin was ready to potty train, she started to bring me a diaper whenever she was wet. Recognize their cues, their actions and reactions.

They are partners in this journey.  I'm always surprised how much I learn about where she is and where she is going when I just take the time to stop and listen.

As always...enjoy the ride!

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Talkin Tots & Nurtureshock

Thursday, June 03, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

The first time I came across a Po Bronson book, I was on vacation at the beach. The book, "What Should I Do With My Life," was a nice read of stories about various people from across the country and what paths they went down. Fast forward 5 years and I am no longer wondering, "What Should I Do With My Life?" Instead, as a mama, I feel a bit more settled, though I do clamor for every bit of parenting insight I can get my hands on. I never imagined I would be coming across Po Bronson again, this time with Ashley Merryman  in a book called "Nurtureshock."

There are many ideas in this book, from babyhood through the teenage years, but one specifically on language development has been getting a lot of attention:. Check out the full story here.

Don't have time to read the full article or tune into the 4-minute video excerpt?  Here are a few of the key points I found most interesting:

Bronson and Merryman support and explore the optimal time for language development, specifically between the ages of 9 months to 2 years.

Take advantage of the windows of opportunity for language development. When your baby is looking, pointing and babbling, they are talking to you! Pay attention and respond!

Some people may say that you should talk to your baby like you would another adult - after all, how else will they learn appropriate language?  Bronson and Merryman challenge this notion. They support that "baby talk" is good! Essentially, instead of filling our kiddo's ears with enormous amounts of language, it's better to actively respond to what they are sharing with us. If it's babbling or cooing or simple syllables, the best way we can support their language development is to imitate.

Finally, it's up to each of us to teach baby about the world around them, supplying names of objects and providing variations of what babies are noticing (i.e. "You see the fish?...look at the big fish, red fish...oh, there's an orange fish"). Bronson and Merryman also note the importance and benefit of hearing words and phrases from a variety of sources (vs. only one person).

When it comes to language development, there's a host of theories about the best way to get your munchkin to be a talkin' tot. It's always fun to see new ideas, some which challenge current or past thinking.

What do you think?

What are you doing to support your baby's language development?

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Happy Mother's Day

Tuesday, June 01, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

For those of you who are checking your calendar, yes, I am a little late. I've been a little late since the kiddo came along. In fact, I think the last time I ran on time was the day I checked in the hospital to be induced. Ah yes, the life of a mama.

Recently, as I was pondering blogs and blog entries, I realized I totally neglected Mother's Day. So, Happy Mother's Day! Whether you are a mama-to-be or holding that baby in your arms, it is truly a day to stop and celebrate motherhood. Which is exactly what I had forgotten. I forgot to stop, step back and celebrate. I think as mamas we all tend to do that. Probably too often.

We're always worried about #1 (the munchkin). And if not #1, perhaps #2 (the hubby?). And, if not #2, well, there's bills, and groceries, and jobs, and family.  But, I digress. Now, about this Mother's Day thing. What does this have to do with child developement?

Well, in addition to forgetting about Mother's Day, I often simply forget to take care of myself. I admit it. I don't get the exercise I should. Often I eat what I shouldn't. I certainly am not getting my "beauty sleep." So, as I remembered that I forgot to blog about Mother's Day, it was also a good reminder to me that I can't forget about taking care of myself. And neither can you.

Without taking care of ourselves. Yes, eating right, sleeping (okay, when we can), exercising, etc., we're going to be no good (or perhaps not as good) for our kiddos. They depend on us. Happy mamas = happy kiddos. Right? Are you with me?

Did you take time to celebrate? If so, tell me how. Make me jealous. I need some inspiration! And, if not, now's the time. I'm starting my celebration. I'm registering for that yoga class I've been thinking about. I'm going to nap on Sunday afternoons while my kiddo is napping (much more fun than dusting!).

It's time. Enjoy. Oh, and Happy Mother's Day.

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