April 2010

Awful

Thursday, April 29, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

I recently came across a blog entry (not mine, of course) that rattled me.  It wasn't that great of an entry, so I won't bother with a link. The bottom line of the blog was that, at times, parenthood can suck. I beg to differ. Some may say, I'm a bit of Pollyanna, but I am here to tell you, truthfully, we all have our moments.

What has been yours? You know, the moment where you are either in tears or simply frustrated because you are just not sure what the right answer is for this puzzle called parenthood.

For me, parenthood has been a pretty joyous ride. Perhaps the transition was softened by the anticipation of the nearly 14 year wait to meet this little one. Perhaps I have realistic expectations and a few tricks up my sleeve from both my formal education and a few years in the classroom with these little tots. Sometimes my concern is that infancy and toddlerhood has been so much fun that I bound to have a hellish experience when it comes to those teen years.

But I digress. Again, I have had my moments too. What are they? Well, in celebration of those moments, today let's tackle a few of the unpleasentries of parenthood  - the "challenging" moments, the "bumps in the road" as I like to refer to them as. The good news? Most of these are simply developmental norms, normal behaviors children will grow into and then out of as they learn new skills.

Here are my "favorites":

Sleeping, as in how to get a baby to sleep. When your baby isn't sleeping well, chances are you are not sleeping either. And little sleep usually yields a short fuse when it comes to being a patient parent.

Eating, as in eating the right things, at the right time and eventually, eating appropriately. Let's face it, from breastfeeding to first foods, to favorite foods (and foods that toddlers refuse to try), the basics of ensuring that a child is getting the right nutrition can be frustrating for all (including your child).

Tantrums, or as I like to call them, "melt downs." It's beyond crying, it's the way little ones tell us "I've had it. I'm done. I've lost it." The only problem is that it's up to us (calmly) to figure out the why and then how to fix it. Generally, these are outcomes of  being tired, or needing food, or needing attention, or perhaps they just aren't feeling up to par. During toddlerhood, sometimes these arise from " a difference of opinon." It can be as simple as a preference for socks, or foods, etc. My bottom line: pick and choose your battles. Are socks a big deal? No. Nutrition? Yes. Be consistent and fair.

Whatever the case, remember, if your child is out of control, it's up to you to stay in control. If you are going to lose it, keep your little one safe. Put them in their crib or other safe space and take the time you need to regain your control. Breathe, think, and don't hesitate to reach out to a friend or family member for support if you need it.

I am sure there are more "challenges" out there, so let me me hear from you, what are yours?

Together, we'll get through them.

 

4 Comments

Stepping Stones

Monday, April 26, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

Happy Monday! Here we are - off and running again. 

How was the weekend? If you're like our family, it involves lots of running around (and running after one little munchkin), with some of the "to-dos" getting "ta-done" during naptime (thank God for naptime!).

Now that spring has sprung, we're spending more time outside. Although I refuse to buy any piece of playground equipment (there are four parks within walking distance of our house), the back patio is a smorgasbord of toys: balls, bubbles, etc. Of course, after five minutes of that amusement, there is more interest found in the rocks, dirt and simply running around. Lately, the little one is working on balancing. Balancing, such as walking across a variety of rocks and other obstacles without taking herself out. With every step, my heart often drops with the fear of her slipping and breaking something or splitting something open. I try to remember that she is much closer to the ground than I, and much more pliable. Holding her hand as she walked over and on those rocks took me back to the very first blog entry Baby Steps: www.planningfamily.com/blog/baby-steps/. 

Watching her working on balancing, again reminded me what a process development really is.

Where is your little one in the development process? Maybe you are yet to meet your little one. Maybe you are in your first few moments of getting to know your little one. Perhaps you are starting to watch them grasp their first object, sit up, pull up, or even take their first steps.

How does it happen? There are so many good resources out there, I wanted to share a few with you that especially target physical development:

www.planningfamily.com/babies/development/

www.planningfamily.com/toddler/development/developmental-milestones-checklist/

Spring is a great time to be reminded of how magically things seem to change and grow.

Don't blink, it all seems to happen quickly.

 

 

0 Comments

Comparing Notes

Thursday, April 22, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

Comparing notes about development. This can be an awesome resource ("Your baby sleeping through the night?...No? Hey, try this..."). And, this can be a dangerous resource ("Wait a minute, your kiddo is doing what?! Mine is no where near that!"). It happened to me recently.

Imagine the first day you met (or will meet) your little girl or little boy. It's a moment like no other. There they are: tiny, beautiful, and - even if they are not - they are PERFECT. My little girl was also brilliant (which really means I am a totally biased and proud mama and she was really not much different than any other newborn at that moment ). I knew it from the moment I saw her. I saw it in her eyes.

Now she is a walking/talking machine.

Through the journey, I've loved most of the chatter I've had with family and friends. I've enjoyed "comparing notes." I've found that most times when we talk ages and stages, we're all in the same game. Oh yeah, there may be different interests and varying challenges, but our kiddos are somewhat doing the same things at the same times.

Then it happened, I received a "note" that was totally different. Actually, it came via Facebook (by the way, are you a fan of Planning Family on FB? Good stuff there too!). It was one of my "most favorite" folks and their kiddo. The post was about a new found skill. I saw it. I saw a picture of it (confirmed documentation). And I thought: "ummm...wow...really...really, she did that?!" I knew that my child was nowhere ready to tackle such a task.

Like any sensible mama, I walked away and pretended that I was all cool. I mentioned it in passing to the hubby who had seen the same post as I. His response "can she (meaning our kiddo) do that?"  My response, "Well, no...but, maybe she's just not ready." Then I quickly put on my handy dandy child development thinking cap and began to ramble on about developmental norms.

What is a developmental norm anyhow?

And the answer is (thank you Wikipedia: wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_the_development_norms_for_children): Developmental norms are defined as standards by which the progress of a child's development can be measured. For example, the average age at which a child walks, learns to talk, or reaches puberty would be such a standard and would be used to judge whether the child is progressing normally.

Later that night, I began my "googling" of developmental norms. I didn't find what I was looking for, so I went back to the old text books and what I finally gathered was that the achievement of one of my friend's children was not a developmental norm. In this case, she had greatly exceeded the standard age of when children begin to write letters and her name. I'm okay with that. I do think her kiddo is brilliant. Mine is too, just in different ways .

I believe that all children have their "brilliance." They all have their gifts. Our challenge as parents is to identify them.  The key is asking questions when there are concerns, and, of course - comparing notes.

Here's a good link about development and developmental norms:

Prenatal and Infancy through Early Childhood: www.aap.org/healthtopics/stages.cfm#inf

Are you comparing notes?

 

 

 

0 Comments

Turn Off The TV

Monday, April 19, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

Happy Turn off the TV Week: April 19-25, 2010 (www.tvturnoff.org/index.php). Are you "celebrating?"

I enjoy a little TV. There's this hilarious weather guy that I like to tune into and, recently, I've found this new show, "Parenthood" (NBC, Tues. nights, 10pm). Mama to mama, what are you watching these days?

With the munchkin, I've tried to be careful when it comes to TV viewing. Let's face it, there's a lot of garbage out there. And (yes, I've said it before, and I'll say it again), the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends NO (nada, zilch, zero) TV viewing for children under the age of two. But...I'll admit it. She saw Dora before the age of two, and may have seen some "Clifford" too. There IS some good (entertaining, and sometimes - I dare say - "educational") stuff out there. If you've been reading this blog, you've probably figured out that I try to be an "everything in moderation mama."  I think the DVR is one of the best inventions ever and it allows me to carefully screen what the kiddo does (and doesn't - like commercials - the worst!) see.

When I caught wind of the "Turn Off the TV Week" campaign (championed by the folks from the Center for Screentime Awareness - www.screentime.org/), I thought it to be a pretty cool idea. So, I'm celebrating and going to see if I can get a shower (www.planningfamily.com/blog/a-developmentally-appropriate-shower/ ) and get through the daily routine without the assistance of a "Dora" episode.

It's a pretty important subject and I've written about it before: www.planningfamily.com/blog/the-boob-tube/, but it is so important, that here I am again.

Here's a few facts and figures (see complete information here: www.screentime.org/index.php). After reading this, you and your family may want join the celebration this week too! Let me know how it goes and what you do INSTEAD. Enjoy.

TV Viewing & Young Children:

Children six and under spend an average of two hours a day using screen media, about the same amount of time they spend playing outside, and well over the amount they spend reading or being read to (39 minutes).--Zero to Six: Electronic Media in the Lives of Infants, Toddlers and Preschoolers, Kaiser Family Foundation and the Children's Digital Media Centers, 2003.

Children in households where the TV is on "always" or "most of the time" are less likely to read than are children in other homes. Zero to Six: Electronic Media in the Lives of Infants, Toddlers and Preschoolers, Kaiser Family Foundation and the Children's Digital Media Centers, 2003.

Research now indicates that for every hour of television children watch each day, their risk of developing attention-related problems later increases by ten percent.  For example, if a child watches three hours of television each day, the child would be thirty percent more likely to develop attention deficit disorder.--D. Christakis, Pediatrics, April 2004.

 

0 Comments

Fashion Statement

Thursday, April 15, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

It's spring and it's a great time to talk about making a fashion statement. (Yes, this still is the blog about child development.) Want to get noticed? Forget the latest spring fashions like minis and bikinis. It's time to talk baby wearing. It's a great way to get noticed and it's good for baby too!

The week after I delivered the "bean" (as we fondly referred to her as), my hubby went back to work and I was flying solo. With newly found confidence (after you give birth to a baby, doesn't everything seem possible), I was confident I could manage the day. After shower success (how? see this blog entry: www.planningfamily.com/blog/a-developmentally-appropriate-shower/), I was ready to take on breakfast, first the munchkin, then myself. With the munchkin satisfied, I decided to try out the handy-dandy Baby Bjorn (www.babybjorn.com/Start) carrier. (Be sure to check out the first photo when you go to the Baby Bjorn website - that's what sold me. I imagined that I too could do this...I wanted to look as happy - and good! - as this mama and have my baby that content.)

Having done a trial run with four hands (AKA the help of the hubby), I was now ready to see if I could gracefully and gently move my 9lb. little (okay, she wasn't that little) girl into this contraption. Sweet success. Better yet, she was content. I found myself with two hands. I ate a bowl of cereal using two hands (if you have an infant, you know what a big deal this is!). Breakfast went so well, I decided to take on a load of laundry.

And so it went. Baby wearing became my fashion statement. She was happy. I was happy. We were happy. I loved holding her and would've been delighted to sit and stare all day. But  with baby wearing,  I found satisfaction in holding her and getting a few things done, or simply taking a short stroll around the neighborhood.

After the Baby Bjorn, I found this: www.ergobabycarrier.com/,  the Ergo Baby Carrier. Talk about fashion!  Now I could have my choice of colors and patterns, plus the choice of positions (front, side or back). Although a little bit of an investment, this carrier has stood the test of time (nearly 3 years now). Most recently, it got us through a great hike in the Columbia River Gorge (Oregon) carrying the 33lb. kiddo on my back.

Not only will you get noticed when you make baby wearing your fashion statement, there are other benefits too.

Here's a couple of great articles to check out that will show you why baby wearing is not only beneficial (and enjoyable) for you, but can optimize your child's development:

www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t051100.asp

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babywearing

www.attachmentparenting.org/pdfs/spadaro_babywearing.pdf

Have you tried baby wearing?

Did it (or didn't it) work for you?

What fashion statement are you making these days?

Cheers!

 

0 Comments

Diagnosis

Monday, April 12, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

We recently went for our munchkin's annual check-up. As you know from one of my recent ramblings (www.planningfamily.com/blog/surviving-the-doctors-visit/), going to the doctor isn't one of my very favorite things. Despite having some butterflies in my stomach, I do look forward to hearing about the positive aspects of my child's growth and development.

During our recent check-up, all was looking good, then our pediatrician got out her stethoscope. She listened. Then, she listened again. Looking up, she said, "Did she have a heart murmur before?" I looked puzzled. My husband answered "No." My mind started to whirl with questions like, "What did this mean?" Then, the pediatrician started typing and chatting: "I'm referring you to a pediatric cardiologist." "Huh?!," I am sure I looked shocked, "What?"

Our pediatrician continued, "Most times these are innocent or functional heart murmurs, but I refer them to a specialist just to be sure. They will get you in within a week for an appointment." A pediatric cardiologist? This sounded serious. A week of worrying about the what-ifs? This is where development can be scary. It's out of my (and your) control.

So, we waited the week. Then, we went for the appointment. We took the favorite toys. We rode the elevator to my kiddo's delight. They had cool toys in the waiting room. Then, they stuck monitors on her chest and I hovered over her making a "shhhh" sound while she weeped. I stayed brave and positive. I smiled. Inside, I was quaking. They took her blood pressure on her arm and then on her leg. Then, we waited. Next up, an echocardiogram.  The echocardiogram took nearly 20 minutes. I layed beside her on a bed in a darkened room while they took an ultrasound of her heart (remember the day you had an ultrasound and had a first glimpse of your baby?).  She was scared, but the episode of "Blue's Clues" helped her through.

Back to the waiting room we went. Finally, the doctor came in. The good news was that this was an "innocent," also known as a "functional" murmur. No further treatment was neccessary. The weight had been lifted. The sun shone and the birds sang (really, I don't remember the weather, but that is how it felt).

Through this experience and much "googling," I've learned that 50%-75% of infants, toddlers and preschoolers will have an audible murmur at some point in their early childhood. That fact got me through. Here's another couple of articles that have good information if you should cross this bridge at some point in your child's development too:

www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/heart/pages/Heart-Murmur.aspx

www.dukehealth.org/health_library/advice_from_doctors/your_childs_health/heart_murmurs

Dealing with a diagnosis can be scary and overwhelming.

Have you had to deal with any uncertainties in your child's growth and development?

How do you deal with working through these "bumps in the road?"

As one of my college professor's used to tell me, "Maintain." That's exactly what I intend to do, even when faced with things in my child's development which I have no control over.

Hang on...the ride is crazy at times!

 

4 Comments

Time Travel

Thursday, April 08, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

I hope this blog finds you somewhere new, doing something fun this spring. Perhaps it is in your neighborhood, or trekking across the United States with family. As you know by now, my family and I ventured across the U.S. (5,000 miles roundtrip) to be with family and have some fun.

Two years ago when we did this trip, my little girl was an infant. I thought she was so "portable." We were traveling across three time zones and I had thought nothing of it. I figured she would eat, sleep and play just as she did at home.  On her schedule. Oy vay, was I wrong. Sleeping was the thing that got us in trouble. If you have one of these little people in your life, you know the value and importance of sleep. Not only do infants and toddlers need sleep for optimal development (How much? www.sleepfoundation.org/article/sleep-topics/children-and-sleep), they need it for our sanity.

With the above in mind, I thought I would share a few tips I've learned that helped us navigate the most recent travel across time zones with success:

*Don't go the red-eye flight, if possible. Again, I thought my infant could sleep anywhere. She often slept in the car.  How different could a plane be? Um...a great deal different...the sound, the people, the lights. With little sleep on the flight, the kiddo was now out of wick-whack for the next few days. Traveling during the day may seem less efficient, but chances are, it will provide a better opportunity to keep with your child's normal routines.

*Do make some tweaks to your child's schedule in the days leading up to your trip. For instance, if you are traveling from the west coast to the east coast (3 hour time difference), you may try slightly (i.e. 15 minutes per day) adjusting your infant or toddler's eating and sleeping times as well.

*Do have the essentials with you. This will include their favorite blanket and/or toy(s), snacks (Cheerios are one of the best foods ever invented!) and perhaps some kid-friendly tunes if your trip includes time in the car.

*Finally, when traveling across time zones, keep in mind where you and your child came from. If they don't seem hungry at dinner time or sleepy at bedime, keep in mind the time difference.

It's spring, take the time to enjoy it wherever you are or wherever you and your family are headed!

Enjoy the ride.

Cheers-

0 Comments

It's A Trip

Monday, April 05, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

If you've been reading, you know we've been off on an adventure. We survived the trip cross-country (via 2 planes and one 3-hour car ride) to visit the family. Have you traveled with your munchkin yet? No, not the across town trip to Grandma's, a full-blown trek in the hopes of seeking some fun and a break from the routine.

I know some families that, once the kiddo came along, decided to stay home for a bit. Let's face it; traveling with an infant or toddler can be well...um...a little "work."  Even though gone are the days of my leisurely reading of magazines on the plane while sipping my favorite caffeinated drink, I am a big fan of packing up the family and heading out. Yes, totally worth it, even without my beverage of choice and magazines.

So, with survival in mind, I thought I would pass along a few of the essentials that saved (I mean supported) us during our latest road trip:

* Whether infant or toddler, ensure you have the basics: food (if you are nursing, this is blissfully simple), favorite blanket (if you are concerned about losing it, mark it), a toy or two (read on below for a few ideas), and a change of clothes/diapers/wipes and a plastic bag for disposal.  Yes, I've been guilty of even disposing of the clothes in an instance or two.  Wasteful, but sometimes makes for a less-stressful moment.

* Don't bring the same ole' toys. This is the time to have a few "tricks up your sleeve." Visit the dollar bin of your local store and think out of the box. Look for items that are light, disposable, and will appeal to your kiddo. For mine, the box of Dora band-aids got us a few miles down the road.  The "Color Wonder" markers were perfect for a toddler's inaccuracy when scribbling.  Stickers and a small book or other folder paper to stick them on  are great for fine motor skills & keeping a toddler engaged for a few more minutes.  With supervision (re: chokable), coins with an older toddler can create great amusement (great for sorting, counting and learning something new!).

* Take every minute when outside the car or plane to help your munchkin wiggle! Airports are fabulous places to explore. The escalator (with me holding her hand, of course!) was as grand as a visit to the local playground. Highway rest stops usually provide some green (safe) places for running around (consider packing a ball which can be easily inflated/deflated).

* Portable DVD player. I'll admit it, I was one of those parents who said that I would never own one of those, but when one was gifted to us last holiday season, I knew I was armed with another resource for our upcoming trip. This was going to be my last resort. I was going to save it until I needed it most. For us, the moment came about an hour into a 4-hour flight. Nap had been officially denied and I was running out of ideas. My idea had been a nap! So, out came the portable DVD player and in popped a Dora video (remember, library rentals = free!). Ah, 26 minutes of delight for my toddler and I took a break.  Remember (food for thought), the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no television viewing for children under the age of two.

The above list is getting long so perhaps I should stop these ramblings here.

With so many ideas of what to bring just to keep the kiddo engaged, you might feel a bit overwhelmed about all you need to pack. Consider packing fewer clothes (chances are, you can easily find a place to do a load of laundry).  Only take enough diapers, formula/snacks, etc. that you will need in route. You can get your other essential supplies when you arrive. Take the stroller (gate check if you are flying) and/or a good carrier.

Last but not least, remember, this is supposed to be "fun." Don't forget to pack your sense of humor!

Traveling with kids...it's a "trip!"

What's essential when you travel with your child?

Cheers-
Jeannie
 

0 Comments

Spring Break

Thursday, April 01, 2010 by Jeannie Fleming-Gifford

No foolin' (after all, today is April 1st). It's vacation time!

It's good for me. It's good for my munchkin. It's good for our family. It must be good for our development.

Does a child development theory prove it? Maybe. Maybe not.

Like many things in life, everyone's take on it is different. Everyone has a different experience.

Traveling with kiddos can be a challenge. It can be fun. It can be hell.

For me, the change in scenery provides the time to focus on the things that really matter. It's time to take a step back from the things I must do and do the things I want to do, when I want to do them (well, for the most part - the kiddos needs come first). I'm a big believer in the importance of taking a break.

Are you listening and wishing you were going too?

Money the issue? Remember, a vacation doesn't have to be grand, long or expensive.  Day vacations can be a beautiful thing. I think of vacations as an investment in my life. They are an investment in today.

Let's face it. There aren't any educational toys or TV shows or gourmet baby foods that can impact my munchkin's development the way that seeing new places and familiar faces of family can.

So, forgive me for today's post: It's the same message folks will be hearing from me over the next few days:

Greetings. You've reached Jeannie Fleming-Gifford. I am out of the office.

In case you're wondering, no, I am not checking my voice mail when I am gone. I am out of the office.

I am not checking my email either.

My cell phone? Yes, I will have it, but I can't promise I'll be checking that either.

Yes, the world will go on. Yes, work will continue to get done. Without me.

I'm going to the beach. I'm watching the sunrise and perhaps the sunset. I am soaking in the sun's rays that will someday make me look like a shriveled up raisin. At this moment, I really don't care. I'm going to eat, drink (coffee is my drink of choice) and be merry with my munchkin.

I'm out of the office.

If you're lucky, I'll contact you when I am back in.

Feel free to copy and paste the message for your own use!

During my ventures, I'm sure to pick up a few tips for traveling with a munchkin. Hopefully, making it fun for all. I promise to share (if you will too).

When I'm back, we'll get back to tackling the latest and greatest news in regards to child development.

There's lots going on out there.  There will be lots to catch up on.

Are you ready for a break? Taking a trip? What's your next adventure with your child?

Happy travels to you and yours no matter what journey you embark on -

 

 

 

0 Comments